Enter your search terms Submit search form

Best Books / OneKey Privacy Policy / Report Unacceptable Site
Play Bridge Today / OneKey Search Options
About OneKey / Add Your Site

Thoughts from Jim Perkins (Archive)
Sponsored by:


What are we Doing This Summer?

It is very difficult when our families have to scale back. The economy has forced everyone to think about how to survive.

We have college students telling their friends, I have to take a year off. When pressed, they usually don't reveal that they need to help the family survive back home by working. They usually say, well I am burned out and need the time off.

The kids ask parents, so where are we going this summer? The parents just look at each other and say, well we are going to explore the area right around our community. There are so many things we have never done.

With both of my kids raised, I think back to the many trips we took. Yes, it was fun going all of those places. But what I wish we would have done more is just spending more time together. So if your kids are under 12, do more activities as a family while they still want to be with you. That time will pass all so quickly and pretty soon you find yourself asking, can I come visit you at college and they respond, this is not a good weekend.

Humor Corner (Sponsored by:

Stories About Summer Vacation

• I went on vacation last week. What a week it was. Only rained twice - once for three days, once for four.
• Summer vacation was over and Little Johnny returned back to school. Only two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. "Wait a minute," she said. "I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved!"
• Summer vacation was over and the teacher asked Little Billy about his family trip. "We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota." The teacher asked, "Good, can you tell the class how you spell that?" After careful thought, Little Johnny said, "Actually, we went to Ohio."
• A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded & dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?" "We're taking TWA," was the reply. "We got a great rate!" "TWA?" exclaimed the barber. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?" "We'll be at the downtown International Marriott." "That dump! That's the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?" "We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope." "That's rich," laughed the barber. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it." A month later, the man again came in for his regular haircut. The barber asked him about his trip to Rome. "It was wonderful," explained the man, "not only were we on time in one of TWA's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28 year old stewardess who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel-it was great! They'd just finished a $25 million remodeling job and now it's the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!" "Well," muttered the barber, "I know you didn't get to see the pope." "Actually, we were quite lucky, for as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait the pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later the pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down as he spoke a few words to me." "Really?" asked the Barber. "What'd he say?" He said, "Where'd you get the lousy haircut?
• Last summer, the Former President and Mrs. Clinton were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. On a venture one day, they stopped at a service station to fill up the car with gas. It seemed that the owner of the station was once Hillary’s high school love. They exchanged hellos, and went on their way. As they were driving on to their destination, Bill put his arm around Hillary and said, “Well, honey, if you had stayed with him, you would be the wife of a service station owner today.” She smirked and replied, “No, if I had stayed with him, he would be President of the United States.”
• For his vacation on the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?!" "Noo," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."
• Phoenix summers are sot HOT . . . ... We go to McDonalds to get coffee and pour it on our laps -- just to cool off! ... The farmers must feed their cows ice cubes, so they don't give powdered milk. ... The farmers feed their chickens ice chips, so they don't lay hard boiled eggs. ... They don't bother making themometers that go below 70 degrees.